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Ken Matthews

HAVE AN ENJOYABLE JULY FOURTH !
HAVE AN ENJOYABLE JULY FOURTH !

Here's my favorite part of the DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE     "......Governments are instituted among men, deriving their Powers from the Consent of the Governed, that...

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IF YOU SEE SOMETHING SORTA SAY UH SOMETHING UM
IF YOU SEE SOMETHING SORTA SAY UH SOMETHING UM

Here's the new Obama administration's slogan. (it almost fits on a bumper sticker)   IF YOU SEE SOMETHING SAY SOMETHING, THEN THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION WILL DECIDE IF IT FITS THEIR...

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FUN FATHER's DAY QUOTES
FUN FATHER's DAY QUOTES

I'm the cool dad. I'm hip. I surf the web, I text. LOL- laugh out loud OMG- oh my God WTF- why the face   -Phil Dunphy...

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Teenage son shocked that Dad has to work on his brthday
Teenage son shocked that Dad has to work on his brthday

It's my birthday and my oldest son was shocked that I'm working on THIS day. I've always found this funny. Well first off I love doing my job so it's no biggie. Whenever I hear that so and so is...

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SATURDAY FREE BONUS JOKE ( for listeners only)
SATURDAY FREE BONUS JOKE ( for listeners only)

Son, I think it's time we talked about sex. Sure Dad. What do you want to know ?

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FRIDAY JOKE TO SHARE (another free service from the Ken Matthews Show)
FRIDAY JOKE TO SHARE (another free service from the Ken Matthews Show)

A ninety-year-old man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, my 18 year old wife is expecting a baby." The doctor said, "Let me tell you a story. A man went hunting but instead of his gun, he...

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Ken Matthews updates his answering machine message 2016
Ken Matthews updates his answering machine message 2016

gotta stay current with this stuff listen to Ken's updated message

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Outrageously SEXIST Joke of the day. (find a safe space and cool down )
Outrageously SEXIST Joke of the day. (find a safe space and cool down )

How many men does it take to open a beer ? None. It should be open by the time she brings it.

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Tuesday JOKE OF THE DAY (mid morning edition)
Tuesday JOKE OF THE DAY (mid morning edition)

Excuse me, would you mind giving up your seat? I'm pregnant. Certainly. I must say you don't look pregnant. Well, it's only been an hour.

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JOKE OF THE DAY ( another free service provided by The Ken Matthews Show)
JOKE OF THE DAY ( another free service provided by The Ken Matthews Show)

Grandma, I hate all the peanuts in the candy dish. That's okay. Since I lost my dentures, I can only suck the chocolate off them anyway.

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